


Wayward Son

by Alarice



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:45:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2329055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alarice/pseuds/Alarice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eir, a servant to the Queen, is asked to do a favor for the Queen, she didn't quite expect to be taking books down to her youngest son's cell, giving him some company while she cleaned it. In return, she is given better opportunities to study to become a healer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“Child… I was thinking. I know that in your free time you sit in the library or help the healers; do you wish to become one of them?”  
Eir finished brushing Queen Frigga’s hair and stepped back.  
“Yes, my Queen,” she said with a small smile. “Of course, I never neglect my responsibilities!”  
“I know, Eir. Truly, I was wondering if you’d agree to help me with something…”  
“With pleasure, my Queen!” the girl dipped into a shallow bow, watching Frigga from the corner of her eye.  
“Then you will help me prepare for the day and I will employ another to clean my rooms. Instead I ask that you take books several times a week to my son and clean his chamber. In return, every evening and after the noontime meal on certain days, your time may be devoted solely to your studies. Is this agreeable?”  
“I… Prince Thor wishes to read?” asked Eir with wide eyes. She couldn’t understand his sudden interest in literature; it was well known that the Prince was no bookworm.  
“No. No, I meant my youngest son―my Loki,” Frigga said with a gentle smile. “He’s bored, I can see that. But because I allowed his father to imprison him as punishment, he is angry with me, too. He needs time to calm and start thinking clearly. I could send the books by magic or by guard, but I believe your company will do him good. You needn’t fear him, Eir. Loki has made many foolish decisions, but he won’t hurt you.”  
Eir shook her head, looking at the floor.  
“I’m not afraid, my Queen, but you are too generous. It’s not right. Cleaning one cell―chamber, I mean―won’t take much of my time. I can’t agree to such riches for so little work…”  
“Do you think easing a mother’s worries such an easy task to repay? This is my decision, child; the payment is fair. If you agree, I will be overjoyed to give you all the time you desire; time to learn…and time to sleep.” Frigga smiled knowingly, easily finding the dark circles under Eir’s eyes.  
Eir gaped at the Queen, not knowing what to say. Before she could think better of it, she darted forward and hugged Frigga tightly.  
“Thank you, my Queen,” she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, a grin stretching her lips as she stepped back. “When may I begin?”  
“At once would not be soon enough,” Frigga laughed, standing abruptly. “Come, the books are in my chamber.”  
They moved quickly, Eir already daydreaming about her studies in herbalism. The Queen retrieved the books quickly, pressing three tomes into Eir’s arms.  
“There, take these with you. Tell Loki that his mother sends them with love,” Frigga said, the corners of her lips lifting in amusement. “Go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll be able to run to the library!”  
Eir hugged the books to her chest and bobbed a curtsy before leaving the chamber. She couldn’t hide the smile on her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

The closer she got to the prison, the more Eir questioned the wisdom of coming at all. She slowed, thinking. She’d agreed to visit the God of Mischief…just to clean and bring him books, but still. She’d agreed to spend part of her life in a prison cell.

Well, it couldn’t be helped. Knowledge had its price.

Before she knew it, she stood at the entrance to Loki’s cell, guards waiting expectantly.

“Umm…Queen Frigga sent me with books for Prince Loki,” she stammered, showing them the three thick volumes. “And I’m supposed to do some cleaning inside.”

One of guards nodded, moving a bit to the left so that she could pass.

“We’ll be here, Miss. Just call if you need us” said the other as she passed.

She didn’t bother responding. Call them… As if she couldn’t handle one prisoner by herself.

Eir pushed open the door and surveyed the room. Queen Frigga was right; the room was not very large. The only furnishings were a table with two chairs, a bookshelf, a small closet and a bed. Her eyes found the person standing in the left corner of the room, his hands resting on the back of a chair. He inspected her in turn, a cool smile twisting his lips. His emerald eyes were icy, his complexion overly pale. Eir nodded to him, unable to make herself bow properly.

“The Queen asked me to bring you some books, my Prince", she said, closing the door behind her. She couldn’t help being startled when the lock clicked shut, and Loki’s smile widened, cold amusement crinkling his eyes. He didn’t speak, instead choosing to watch her with head bowed slightly. He looked… _dangerous_.

Eir took a deep breath and set the books on the table next to his untouched breakfast. She hesitated for a few seconds, looking at the book covers, trying to gather her thoughts. Without turning to meet his eyes, she said, “I’ll be cleaning your chamber as well, my Prince.”

Still no response. It wasn’t that she wanted to have a conversation with him; it just felt strange talking without anyone talking back. She glanced around the room again and decided to start with the bookshelf. There were already a few tomes there, probably sent by Queen Frigga, but they were covered with dust. Eir stood on her tiptoes and started moving the heavy volumes from the shelf to the floor.

She sensed Loki the moment he moved away from the chair. He hadn’t made any noise to signal his movement, but he wasn’t the only one with magic either. Eir wasn’t as gifted as him, but even novices could sense other magic users.

Eir knew that he wanted to scare her, so she didn’t react at all, instead reaching for another volume and laying it next to her feet. A hand touched her shoulder, surprising her even though she didn’t show it. She’d had her senses trained on him since she walked into the cell, and she’d been expecting something like this, so she wasn’t frightened.

She turned to eye him quizzically, a book titled “Wisest Sorcerers of Asgard” cradled in her arms. He stood so close to her that if she’d been any taller, she could have felt his breath on her face.

“So _Mother_ still refuses to visit?” Loki murmured, his grin now a cutting smirk.

Eir found herself caught in his gaze—cold as a serpent sporting a hyena’s sense of humor—and clutched the book closer to her chest, as if it were a shield.

“Queen Frigga tasked me with cleaning this chamber and bringing new reading materials. That’s all I know, my Prince.”

She privately celebrated the fact that her voice hadn’t trembled at all. She could sense his immense power all too clearly; he could kill her in the space of a second. Somehow, it fascinated her… no, it repelled her. No… _fascinated_.

Loki chuckled.

“As you say, woman."

Eir nodded and turned back to the bookshelf, not realizing that she still clutched a tome to her chest. Blood heated her cheeks. She was supposed to finish her work as quickly as possible and retreat to the library. It was…irritating that she’d been so distracted by the Prince. She snorted quietly, setting aside the volume with a bang and dusting the bare shelf thoroughly.

“Do you wish to keep these or shall I return them to the library, Prince?”

Loki shrugged, lounging on his bed as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

“Do as you like.”

Eir pressed her lips together and prompted him further.

“The Queen will send more books tomorrow or perhaps the day after. If you’ve read these already, Prince, I will take them away.”

Loki scoffed.

“Of course. Why should _Mother_ come when she can send _you_ instead?”

“I…It’s not my place to say, Prince Loki. But I’m sure you may ask to see your family whenever you wish.”

Before she could blink, he’d seized her by the arm, nearly seething with rage.

“They are _not— my—family_!” he hissed, crushing her wrist with the strength of his grasp. She yanked her arm away with all her might, but the Prince scarcely noticed, a predatory grin cutting across his face.

“What’s this? Are you _actually_ trying to fight back, woman?”

“Let go!”

His expression shifted back into the shrewd half-smile he’d worn for the majority of her time in the cell and he released her arm.

“Tell me, girl. Are you learning to use your magic?”

Eir didn’t respond, focused on quelling her shaking limbs. She couldn’t name the true cause of her trembling― anger, fear, exhaustion―but she knew she must complete her duties. She swallowed thickly and stumbled back to the table, praying that her legs would not fail her.

With clenched teeth, she gathered the new books up and tottered back to the shelf where Loki was standing just as she’d left him. Now that the time came to put the books away, she realized just how high the shelf was…and how weak her arms felt.

She resigned herself to the humiliation of putting the tomes away one at a time and set to work. But even limiting herself to a single volume didn’t help. Her hands trembled and her face heated with indignation, but, somehow, she managed to shelve the first book.

Loki watched her contemplate the thicker second volume for a moment before snapping at her.

“Give me that.”

He snatched the second book from the floor and slid it onto the shelf with ease, but Eir grabbed the third while he was occupied and stood on her tiptoes to thrust it onto the shelf, careful not to meet the Prince’s eyes. Loki shook his head in amusement.

“Thank you, my Prince,” she said stiffly. Before he could respond, Eir was across the room straightening his sheets with sharp movements. When the bed was to her liking, she scanned the room for anything else out of place, holding back a sigh of relief when she realized her work was done.

“Do you need anything else, my Prince?” she asked crisply, praying for him to say no. He shook his head, still wearing that irritating smirk.

“Then good day, Prince Loki.” She bowed and darted to the door without looking back. It was finally over.

Without a word, she nodded to guards and hurried to the library, eager to push the insufferable man out of her thoughts with herbology.

*

“How was my son yesterday?”

Eir paused, distracted from filling the washing basin with clean water. She smiled ruefully to herself as the memories of yesterday’s…adventure played across her mind.

“Well…” she started thoughtfully, rearranging flowers in a vase. “He was…He―”

“I take it that things didn’t go well.” Frigga smiled gently, her eyes filled with regret. “I apologise on his behalf. He’s hurting, I know it. He probably found it amusing, to be cruel to you.”

“No, not cruel!” Eir interjected, “He…He just wasn’t _nice_.”

Frigga laughed quietly and began washing her face in the half-filled basin.

“And if I ask you to go to him today?”

“I will go with pleasure, my Queen!” The words left her mouth too quickly to be true, but Queen Frigga let Eir have that small lie, the hint of a smile dancing around her lips.

“I have nothing for him today. Simply ask after his needs and, if possible, fulfil them.” Frigga dryed her face with white towel and looked at Eir, “But how do your studies go? I sense that you’re weary, so I suppose they go well. I have heard that the healers are pleased with your powers and enjoy your presence. Well, truly the All-Father said they talked of a girl, but I must assume they meant you, Eir.”

“As you say, my Queen.” Eir flushed with delight and beamed at the praise.

“Then we’re done here for today, child. Attend to your other duties.”

Eir bowed graciously and left the Queen’s chambers, bursting with pride and happiness. She was in such a good mood, that she stopped by a vendor and bought a cluster of dark grapes on a whim. She would give them to Loki. Perhaps the fruit would be enough to sweeten even his sour grapes. The very thought made her laugh.


	3. Chapter 2

Eir skipped towards the prison, still smiling to herself at the All-Father’s praise. It was a beautiful day—nothing, not even the pampered prince could upset her.

She greeted the guards with a wide smile and an offer of grapes. They refused, she shrugged and grasped the door handle, smile still playing on her lips. One of the guards cleared their throat, catching her eye with a disapproving gesture.

“He is not in the best of moods.”

“And I suppose yesterday was a good day?” Eir laughed.

Somehow, her conversation with Queen Frigga this morning had brightened her day so much that she didn’t even care if Loki thought to trick her. She fixed the smile on her face and pushed her way into the chamber.

“Good morning, Prince Loki!” She bowed graciously, presenting the grapes with a flourish. “Today, instead of books, I havve brought you grapes. Do they please you?”

“Perhaps. They are probably old and sour,” he sneered. He glared at her, hands tucked behind his back and no hint of a smile.

Eir shrugged, smirking.

“That’s a chance you’ll have to take, Prince. I tasted them and they seem sweet enough to me―but what could a lowly servant possibly know of such things?”

She left the bag of grapes on the table, next to the untouched breakfast tray. He hadn’t eaten yesterday’s morning meal either.

“Do you eat?”

“Don’t be foolish. We may be gods, but even we must provide our bodies with sustenance,” he said with a razor-edged smile.

“Then why haven’t you eaten your breakfast? Is something amiss?”

He grimaced and shrugged, clearly irritated.

“I don’t wish to eat it.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. She grabbed the sleeve of his robe without thinking and pulled him back to the table.

“Sit,” she said, pushing him towards the chair. She knew perfectly well that he only moved because he was humoring her, but she didn’t care. He sat, shooting her a skeptical look as he propped his chin in his hands.

“And?” He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Eat.” She sat across from him, determined to see him eat something. He stilled and snare her. She felt her spirits sink, as if the sun no longer shone; she was certain that Loki was responsible—she could sense it. She shut her eyes tightly, focusing on blocking his spell. It took time for the effects to recede, and she wasn’t sure if she’d succeeded or if he’d simply let the spell lapse.

“You could be powerful with proper training and practice. But that was a truly pathetic attempt at countering my spell.”

Eir shrugged, opening the bag of grapes and plucking a berry from the vine cutting.

“I am studying medicine; I care little for sorcery. And do not change the topic—eat!”

“I do not wish to eat!” His jaw clenched, his eyes cold with fury.

“As you wish,” Eir murmured, standing up. “Have you finished any of the books I brought you yesterday?”

“Is that what _Mother_ plans? To fill my eternity here with _books_?” He stood, stalking to the window.

“She wants to help, yet you only push her away. What do you expect to happen?”

“ _Help_ me?” Loki spun to face Eir. “I don’t _need_ help!”

“As you say, Prince Loki,” she said waspishly. She didn’t come here to tolerate his childish behavior! “Do you require anything else?”

Loki shook his head, lips drawn tight, emerald eyes cold and distant.

Eir bowed and left him without a word.

It seemed his problems stemmed from his own twisted personality; she wouldn’t worry about him anymore. She studied to become a physician, a healer of the body, not the soul.

_You could simply help one who needs it…_

But that wasn’t necessary either.

Even lost in her thoughts, Eir couldn’t help but notice that the sun still shone as brightly as ever, despite Prince Loki and his tricks. She pushed her thoughts away and retreated to the library. It wasn’t long before she retrieved one of the books she’d been studying the previous day and settled herself at a table. She opened the volume and soon all thoughts of Loki and the outside world were forgotten.

“The red-haired angel returns.” Eir started at the whisper, nearly falling from her chair.

“Pal, what are you doing here?”

“Snorri asks for you. Prince Thor and his companions have returned from battle; if you wish, you may come and assist the healers.”

Eir shut the book and stood eagerly. “Then what are we waiting for?”

They raced to the clinic, separating once they reached its doors, Pal returning to his duties as Eir sought out Snorri. She found him tending to a nasty looking burn in the men’s section of the infirmary

. “Good, you’ve arrived; Lady Sif awaits you. She claims she is hale, but her arm is broken and she’s likely hiding internal injuries.”

Eir nodded her understanding and hurried to the smaller chamber set aside for the female warriors. Sif was the only patient and she’d claimed a sturdy wooden chair as her own.

“Good afternoon, Sif.” She kept her tone cheerful, but she was already preparing herself to match wills with the proud woman. “Let’s see how you fare.”

“As I told Snorri, I do not require healing!” Sif scolded, frown pulling at her features.

“Then we’ll be done in moments and you will be free to celebrate your victory,” Eir smiled disarmingly, checking Sif’s face with sure movements.

Eir skimmed her hand over Sif’s left arm, just checking the limb’s status with her senses. She could do that much, at least, and she was good at it. Even though she wasn’t fully qualified yet, she spent a lot of time observing and helping the healers.

She could feel the break in Sif’s body. Eir closed her eyes and focused until bright light the colour of spring flickered beneath her hand. She could feel Sif’s pain as if her own bone was broken. She grimaced, but waved her hand over the injury until her magic finished knitting the bone back together.

“Done. The worst of your injuries should be healed, but you’ll have to settle for an ointment on those scratches. There are too many of them to heal with magic; so muchinterference with the natural order often does more harm than good.”

Eir passed the warrior a bottle of salve with a smile. “Did you give them a thorough beating, at least?”

“Of course! And—my thanks, Eir.” Sif nodded and left the room with a laugh.

Eir shook her head ruefully and went to assist the other physicians. When the last injury was treated, she found she was too tired to resume her studies. She made herself a silent promise as she lay in her bed, that she would stay up late the next day to make up for it. She smiled sleepily and thought that, sometimes, dreams do come true.

When she woke, Eir set about her duties as usual. Happily, the Queen didn’t mention Loki at all, much less ask Eir to visit him. After assisting Queen Frigga with her morning ablutions, Eir had a quick breakfast and set off for the library, determined to study the entire day.

She’d been studying a difficult but interesting chapter about healing wounded intestines before Pal had called her away the day before. She itched to finish the reading and thought that perhaps she’d study something of sorcery afterwards. But only, she told herself, because she wanted to stop falling for Loki’s tricks. She didn’t fool herself for a moment, but tried to ignore the parts of her that warmed at the memory of _“You could be powerful with proper training and practice.”_

She studied diligently until her stomach growled with hunger and she was surprised to find the noontime hour was long past. She closed her book with a sigh and stretched her legs, satisfaction with her progress settling in her chest. Eir felt she had accomplished much today.

Eir wandered toward the clinic, snacking on a luscious red apple she’d saved from breakfast. Perhaps the healers could use her assistance today as well. It was not to be. Even before she entered the room she could hear the healers laughing and sharing crude jests. Likely there was no work to be done, and Eir avoided such crudity when she could.

_xxx_

It was another beautiful day, balmy and clear, so Eir decided to walk in the gardens as she finished her snack. Besides, the library was close to the gardens and she thought to further her studies before day’s end. She closed her eyes for a moment, exulting in the sun’s warmth. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed a woman sitting under the trees. At the realisation that it was Lady Sif, Eir smiled and went to greet her.

“Greetings, Eir. Would you sit with me a moment?” Sif asked, patting the grass beside her.

“Of course.” Eir sat stretched her legs before her, resting her back against the tree’s trunk. “I’ve heard that there’s a party to celebrate your victory this evening. Is that so, Lady Sif?”

Sif absently mumbled an affirmative, eyes slightly unfocused. Eir smiled to herself. It seemed the Lady was lost to her own thoughts; likely she hadn’t really heard the question.

“Why are you here, Eir?”

The girl blinked and gestured to her apple.

“Oh, I…I was just taking a short break from my studies to eat.”

“Eat,” Sif repeated blankly. The woman seemed to shake herself out of her stupor and turned to watch Eir thoughtfully, a faint wrinkle of worry on her brow. “May I ask you something? You mustn’t tell the others, but I find myself in need of guidance and, well…”

“Of course, Lady Sif.” Eir smiled warmly, confident that she knew exactly what this question was about.

“Eir, what would you do? If the one you loved with all of your heart…if he loved another, what would you do?”

As she thought. Eir had known for years that Sif had an eye for Thor—servants knew everything after all—but she’d also heard rumours that Thor was courting a Midgardian woman, a mortal he’d met during his exile. She chose her next words carefully, aware of the delicacy of the situation.

“My Lady…I know it is a hard thing, but I believe I would let the matter be. If you truly love someone, you will wish them only the best. If what is best for them is a relationship with another, then…let it be so. Their happiness, if I truly loved them, their happiness would become my own. If I stood in their way, I would only make us all miserable. No, my Lady. Even if I could only stand by my beloved as a friend, I would let it be so.”

Eir bit her lip, suddenly realising what a fool she must sound.

_What marvellous advice, dear Eir! Nineteen years to your name, no suitors, and without any lover in mind. If you wished to see her suffer, a stabbing would have been kinder and more easily fixed!_

“I mean to say…” Eir began again, the words rushing from her mouth as she tried to repair her blunder.

“Peace, Eir. You meant what you said, and…I thank you for it. You’re right.” Sif rubbed Eir’s arm, a rueful look in her eye. “It wasn’t pleasant to hear, but it was the right thing to say. You’re a good person, Eir, and a better woman than I.”

Eir blushed, suddenly finding the remains of her apple the most interesting thing in the garden.


	4. Chapter 3

Eir adjusted the tomes in her arms, idly wondering what the day had in store as she neared the prison gate. The guards, used to her comings and goings, let her through without challenge. She nodded her thanks and went straight to Loki’s room.  
“Good morning, Prince,” she said. She didn’t bother to check where he was, thinking only of putting the heavy books away as soon as possible. She was surprised to see Loki in front of her, hands behind his back, as usual.  
“You didn’t come yesterday,” he said, looking down his nose at her. “Why?”  
“The Queen did not ask it of me. Perhaps she thought you might like a day to yourself to read.” Eir shrugged, noticing how green his eyes were for the first time. They were cold, but beautiful.  
He nodded curtly and took the books from her arms, sliding them onto the shelf with ease. Eir surveyed the room while he slid the last volume into place. Loki’s breakfast was untouched, but the bag she’d brought the grapes in lay empty on the table beside his tray. She smiled in satisfaction, stealing a glance at the Prince as he examined the books she’d brought.  
“I take it the grapes pleased you after all, Prince?” He looked at her, smiling mischievously as she joined him by the bookshelf.  
“They were…edible.”  
They stood in the middle of his room without a word; Eir didn’t mind. She wasn’t a talkative person and she didn’t mind silence. Eventually she broke the stillness and moved to make his bed, Loki watching her movements with cold eyes.  
Mother was so good, he thought. So good she sent a servant girl to bring books to him. His loving Mother couldn’t even look at him, couldn’t face the monster he’d become…So she sent a servant, a redheaded slip of a girl in her place. Surely she knew that he could have destroyed her the very moment she entered his cell; his mother must have been aware of that. A simple conclusion, then; Mother cared as little for the girl as she cared for her own son.  
Loki’s thoughts circled and darkened, drawing him into himself as the girl busied herself around his chambers until he’d quite forgotten that she was there at all.  
Eir turned to announce the completion of her duties, but the strange emotion lurking just behind Loki’s eyes caught her attention. Words spilled from her mouth before she could think better of it, surprising herself as much as him.  
“Do you desire companionship, my Prince? I can offer my presence, if you wish.”  
Loki stared at her, testing her words. Why should a servant girl offer her company to him? No doubt this was his mother’s handiwork…  
“Why would I?” he asked with an aloof smile. “I do well enough alone.”  
She couldn’t help but laugh. What a stubborn, silly god! He’d rather die of boredom than admit he required anything of another. Her laughter halted as suddenly as it began, eyes catching on the prince’s hand. There was a small cut on his right thumb, most likely a paper cut. She glided across the room and took his hand, gaze fixed on the cut. She cupped his hand in hers, closing her eyes to improve her focus on the injury just beneath her right hand. Light arced from her hand to his, washing over his thumb as her magic healed the cut.  
Loki watched without protest, feeling as if he should pull his hand away, but unwilling to do so. When she finished, she opened her eyes and smiled up at him, as if she wanted his thanks; a servant girl waiting for a prince’s gratitude.  
“What are you doing?” Frustration colored his tone as he yanked his hand away. “If I wished the cut gone, I would have healed it myself!”  
Her expression soured, smile thinning into white-lipped anger. She sprang towards the bookshelf and jerked a tome from its place, shoving the volume into his arms.  
“Then replace it, by all means, Prince Loki. Cut yourself as much as you wish! I will not stop you and I cannot offer anything sharper even if I wanted to.”  
She stormed over to the table and flung herself into a chair, fury still rolling off her in waves. Loki was so startled by her behavior that at first he could do nothing but watch her, pale hands clutching the book. His eyes narrowed into slits and he put the book back in its place, tightly controlled anger evident in his every move. With menacing slowness, he approached her and crouched down in front of her, predatory gaze holding her captive as his hands encircled her wrists.  
“You will never again act so disgracefully in my presence,” he enunciated each syllable clearly, words rasping like silk-covered steel as he pulled her down to his level. He could sense her fear just as he could sense that she tried to hide it. Hide from the god of mischief himself. A prisoner he might be, perhaps he might even deserve the title of monster, but he still possessed great power. Her attempts to disguise her emotions were laughable.  
He stared into her eyes, waiting for her reaction. Strange that he’d only noticed it now, but her eyes were as green as his. But somehow he knew they were a different kind of green―he wasn’t sure of the difference between them but it was there without doubt.  
It had been, he thought, a very long time since any female was this close to him. Even this closeness was a lie; the servant girl stayed close not by choice but through his use of force. Because who would want to get close to a monster such as he? His future, his end, was within the walls of this lonely prison. And how could he blame anyone for keeping their distance? He was the beast under the bed, the monster parents threatened their children with to ensure their obedience; who would possibly desire his company if even the one he once called Mother abhorred him?  
“Loki…What troubles you?” An unfamiliar hand, small and warm, caressed his cheek and Loki found, to his humiliation, that his eyes were full of tears. He stood up abruptly and walked away, his pride unable to bear showing such weakness.  
Why did she touch him so? When had his weakness become something so easily seen?  
Eir trailed behind him, letting him wipe away the evidence of tears before she reached his side. Not quite conscious of her actions, she slipped her hand into his and squeezed it slightly. His long, pale fingers were cold to the touch. She looked up at him, but he still avoided her sight.  
“Why did you call me by name?” he asked curtly, all traces of emotion purged from his voice.  
“Wha…?” she started, blinking.  
“Why did you call me by name?” he repeated, eyes trained on the window at the empty hall.  
“I…I don’t know; I only meant…I am sorry, Prince,” she stuttered, confused and embarrassed.  
What does that matter now?  
A beat of silence and Loki finally tore his gaze from the window, glancing down at her as if he saw her from a great distance.  
“I am not angry; I am simply curious. You may address me by name if you wish it, but I will have yours in exchange.”  
“I…My name is Eir, Prince,” she said, shyness overtaking her. She realized that her hand was still in his, but he didn’t seem to mind, so she decided not to draw attention to the matter.  
“Eir,” he repeated thoughtfully. “Eir, you mustn’t tell anyone of what happened here.”  
“Of course, Prince; the thought never crossed my mind.”  
He didn’t respond. He enjoyed the way his name sounded when it fell from her lips. He could almost imagine that she thought him more than a beast, so softly and innocently she said it.  
A frown marred her features as she watched the prince. She wasn’t sure if she should stay or take her leave. She found herself wanting to stay, but that only convinced her it was about time she left.  
“Prince,” she started, unsure how to phrase her dilemma. “Do you wish me to go?”  
“Am I no longer Loki?” His tone was bitter and mocking.  
“Loki, then,” she repeated softly, squeezing his hand. “Do you wish me to leave?”  
“Go; your task is complete. There is no reason for you to stay here, Lady Eir.”  
Such a stupid, stupid, woman…  
His hand felt frozen, but he loosened his grip and let her warm palm slip away. He didn’t need her pity. He didn’t need anyone’s pity.  
Eir tangled her fists into her dress, feeling empty at the loss of his strong grip. She bowed and scampered towards the door, eager to leave the prince’s cell before she made an even bigger fool of herself.  
She nearly ran to her chamber. When she finally arrived, she filled a bowl with cold water and splashed her face with it, fingers trembling. She looked into her small mirror, noting that her eyes were full of tears and her cheeks were blotchy.  
What a foolish, stupid girl she was, playing Loki’s games…  
She straightened, not daring to look into the mirror again. She would return to her studies and forget that moron and his strange, nonsensical games! But what kind of game was the prince playing?  
You know very well that he wasn’t using magic tricks on you today…  
***  
She was determined to finish her job more swiftly than usual today; Snorri had met her on her way down and asked her to come to the clinic later.  
“Prince Thor has left the realm once more,” he’d said. “I don’t know his destination, but I have a feeling that this journey will end as many often do – they will return in victory and we will have some healing to do.”  
Eir had nodded, assuring him that she would be there as soon as she could.  
So she hurried to the prison, a new stack books in hand. She greeted the guards and entered the room with haste.  
“Good morning, Prince,” she said, bowing slightly. “I have more books from the Queen.”  
“Good morning,” he answered, taking the books from her arms just as he had the day before. He placed them on the shelf and removed two books she’d brought him a few days earlier, passing them to her with a small twist of his lips.  
“I am done with these. Give my thanks to Mother.”  
“As you wish,” she promised, glancing at his perfectly cleaned bed and she fighting to hide her smile. Why had he done that? But it didn’t matter. There was nothing more to be done here and Snorri awaited her.  
“May I leave, Prince, or do you require anything else of me?”  
Surprise flitted across his expression, but Eir couldn’t imagine why. What was so unexpected about her request? She was done with her work; why would she stay here any longer than necessary?  
“And so I am back to being “Prince?”” He crossed his arms as if the thought displeased him somehow.  
“That is your title, Prince. Yesterday I behaved improperly.” Eir shrugged, clenching her hands in the material of her dress.  
Not today, my prince. I will not play your games today.  
He looked at her blankly.  
“Very well. You may leave.”  
She bowed and left the awkwardness of the room behind.  
Once she was out of sight, he tightened his lips and turned around. At least the serving girl had behaved this time. In a sudden fit of emotion, he overthrew the table and his breakfast tray, shattering the plate and spattering food on the floor. He could not think of a reason for his actions, only able to think of how annoying the table truly was.  
Besides―why hadn’t she noticed, that he hadn’t eaten today either?


	5. Chapter 5

I am so, so, so sorry I took so long. I think it won’t get any better :( Sorry once again :(

_xxx_

The next morning Eir found herself attending the Queen’s needs once more.

“How did my son fare yesterday?” asked Queen Frigga as Eir brushed her long, blonde hair.

“He is the same as ever,” Eir said shortly, trying to end the discussion before it began―though it wasn’t polite to do so.

Frigga gently brushed against Eir’s hand, stilling the servant girl for a moment. “He isn’t evil, Eir, I know it; he has simply lost his way…my wayward son. If we only―” the Queen shook her head and closed her lips tightly. Eir wondered what the Queen was thinking; she could only guess at what she’d meant—but the servant girl wasn’t brave enough to ask. However, to Eir’s surprise, Frigga spoke again.

“He’s always felt less than his brother, as though we valued Thor more than he…But even so, Loki is so certain that he is more fit to rule than Thor; he believes he is better able to wield and understand the power of the throne. Maybe it is so. But Thor is…”

“He is the Crowned Prince, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard,” the redhead said, nodding slowly.

“Yes, the…rightful heir.” The Queen repeated the phrase quietly, eyes distant and unfocused as her thoughts wandered.

Frigga was convinced that Loki would eventually heal, if she only gave him the time and space to do so. So she had. She still believed that she’d made the right decision; Loki would return to himself when he was ready—but she feared she could not keep herself away from him for much longer. She loved her son with all her heart and ached to be with him again. He was her youngest, her darling scholar. Just as Thor, a born warrior so like his Father, had claimed a favored place in Odin’s heart, Loki had claimed her affection the moment she’d held him in her arms.

If only they’d told him the truth from the very beginning, she lamented. How different things could have been!

“My Queen?” Eir’s quiet voice broke through her troubled thoughts. Frigga blinked, stiffening as she realized that she’d quite forgotten that she wasn’t alone. No, she was still sitting in front of her mirror, Eir hovering behind her with brush in hand. The Queen cleared her throat delicately.

“Yes, of course…I am sorry to have kept you so long, child. We’re done for today. You may resume your studies,” she said, smoothing her hair with a trembling hand. Eir hesitated before blurting out a question, spinning the brush between her hands nervously.

“I was thinking, Queen Frigga…May I have your permission to visit Prince Loki today? This evening, I mean?”

Frigga blinked in surprise before smiling warmly and cupping the girl’s cheek.

“You may visit him anytime you wish, child.” The Queen paused, a warning in her eye. “Be discreet; the All-Father will not approve.”

“As you command, my Queen.”

Eir bowed jerkily, mumbling words of thanks as she rushed out of the room. A smile still graced the Queen’s face as Eir shut the door behind her.

_Perhaps her wayward son would find his way home sooner than she’d feared._

_xxx_

_May I visit Prince Loki?_ What had possessed her to say such a thing? It was a foolish question, pointless, even. If the Queen asked it of her, then she had no choice but to go– but why would she visit him of her own free will? Ridiculous!

Consumed by her thoughts, Eir didn’t notice she was mumbling until she heard laughter nearby.

“There’s something bothering you, isn’t there, Eir?” Sif laughed again, reminding Eir of a bell’s clear chime.

“It’s…It’s a new spell I’m having trouble with,” she blurted before grimacing. She’d answered much too quickly. _Damn_. But now the only thing she could do was keep up the lie.

“Is that so?” Sif teased, smiling widely. “And I was so sure I heard you muttering about free will and Midgard. Are you planning to leave us and live with the mortals?”

“Something like that.” Eir smiled weakly, wishing the warrior woman would drop the matter.

Sif chuckled and thumped Eir’s back before hurrying to join Thor and their friends just down the hall. Eir continued on her way, bowing as she passed the group. She needn’t have bothered; no one paid the least bit of attention to her and, for once, she was grateful. She didn’t wish to chat with _anyone_ at the moment.

She strode toward the library as quickly as she could without breaking into a run. Even so, it took entirely too long to reach the obscure part of the archives that held the medical texts. She grabbed a tome at random, gently brushing its cover with her fingertips. She took a calming breath and shook her head determinedly, pushing distracting thoughts away. If she wanted to be a healer, she’d have to focus more on her studies!

The day flew by so quickly that she even forgot to eat—rather, she didn’t want to remember anything but her studies. Focusing on the books allowed her to forget the stupid, stubborn thought that insisted on running marathons in her head. So she deliberately ignored everything but the words on the page; it worked just fine…for a while.

Eventually it grew too dark to read and Eir was forced to close the text book, rubbing at her tired eyes. She drifted away from the library, so exhausted that she completely forgot to return the book to its place. She had sunk deep into her thoughts, mind hazy with facts and figures. She’d meant to return to her room, but when she came out of her thoughts, she was already walking through the prison gates. She hesitated, mouth forming an _oh_ of comprehension.

The inmates stared and gestured obscenely, raucous laughter bouncing from wall to wall. She shuddered, trying to block out the noise as she ran towards the entrance of Loki’s cell. The guards didn’t seem surprised to see her; the Queen must have sent word.

She shrunk away from the unwelcome attention of the inmates, still whistling and laughing and saying all manner of things. She forced herself to nod politely at the guards before stepping into the cell, leaning against the door to press it shut. Her breathing was harsh and heavy, almost too loud in the blessed silence.

Loki had been reading at the table; now he watched her curiously, eyebrows raised as if to ask why she was here. Eir cleared her throat; it was only polite that she should be the one to begin the conversation.

“Uh―hello, Prince. I mean―Hello, Loki,” she stuttered. Well, this is going splendidly. And why had she come here, again? “I…Umm…”

She faltered and fidgeted where she stood, confused and scolding herself internally. She wished she’d thought of a good explanation before coming to see the Prince. Loki frowned, anxiously getting to his feet.

“What’s happened? Is there something wrong with Mother?”

She shook her head, unable to even look at him. Her stomach churned uneasily at the fear in his voice.

“Then what is it?” he asked impatiently, moving closer to her. So close that she could trace the weave of his garments with her eyes.

“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry,” she stammered and turned to leave, face flushing. “I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go; I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

She stopped just before the door, clenching her eyes shut as she prepared herself for the humiliating walk through the prison and back through the palace. A slender hand, cool to touch, grabbed her by the arm and twisted her around to face the Prince.

“I asked what was wrong,” he repeated, still holding her arm fast, too close for comfort. “Why are you here, girl?”

“I…It’s stupid. I don’t know what this is; I don’t know why I came.” She stared down at her feet. “Maybe I did know, _before_. But they―” She swallowed, throat tight with emotion. “This is such a _terrible_ place. I didn’t know―all those _monsters_ ―” She pressed her lips together and shook her head violently, unwilling to speak further.

“Monsters? Of course there are monsters here. In fact, if you look closely, you’ll find yourself standing right next to one of them,” He smiled mischievously, clearly intending the remark as a jest; she was unable to see it so. She still refused to look at him, fear of the other inmates flooding her thoughts.

“No, that’s not―It’s not the same. They’re all so… _vile_. In the morning it’s always so quiet, but now they act as if I’m a-a _harlot_ sent for their pleasure.”

She realized she was shaking and desperately tried to stop. It didn’t help at all. She knew Loki had noticed her weakness and she could only groan at the knowledge that he’d only tease her for it during her morning visits.

“Calm down,” he commanded as he rubbed her arms. She managed to nod in agreement, still trembling as she leaned heavily against the door. Eir was convinced that she would fall if she tried to stand on her own now.

“You chose a poor time to pay a social visit; it’s well after dark and they only saw a pretty woman walking—a rarity in a place such as this. Naturally, only one possibility occurred to them, beasts that they are.”

_Beasts and monsters just like you, right Loki?_

She bit her tongue against the caustic remark and at her lack of response, he continued.

“You must calm yourself immediately and return to your chambers with haste. The longer you stay the worse they will act when you leave.”

“I wasn’t aware the Prince used such _services._ ” She spat the words, overcome with humiliation and emotions she couldn’t put a name to as she met his eyes for the first time that night. As soon as the words rolled from her tongue, she knew she would regret them sorely.

He seized her wrists, long fingers pressing against her skin hard enough to bruise. His eyes were wide and full of fury, his lips bloodless and pinched—and Eir was afraid.

“How _dare_ you.”

“I’m sorry, Loki,” she whimpered. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I was upset! Please, forgive me.” She trembled violently, fear coursing through her body until she was heavy with it. It was a trick, she knew. Making her so frightened was revenge for offending him so―but even knowing the truth, Eir was unable to quell her emotions.

And then he changed before her eyes. His skin darkened to a startling blue-gray and intricate, raised designs flowed over his body like water. But his eyes—they were crimson, a deep bloody red that seemed to pierce through her soul. She was paralyzed, eyes wide as she watched him, panting to catch her breath. She’d never seen anything like it. She hadn’t even known it was possible to change forms so drastically…

“Since you brought it up, perhaps I will take advantage of such _services_. Just-this- _once_ ,” he purred, pressing her closer to the door with his body, cold as ice and just as unyielding.

But Eir was still in a daze. Despite the obvious differences, the likeness of Loki’s new appearance to his old was perfect in every way. How had he created such a thing? Staring into red eyes lurid with emotion, so different from Loki’s usual cold emerald hue, Eir reached up to touch his face, wrists still encircled by icy hands. Her fingers traced the markings on his skin, entranced by the savage beauty of the being before her. She had never seen a Frost Giant before, could not recall ever seeing anything claiming to be an accurate rendering of the species. But there was no doubt in her mind that this magic mimicry was the closest she might ever get. _This_ is how a monster should look, she thought.

“I’ve never heard of such a trick; how did you do that?” Her fear was long forgotten in the face of this new sorcery. “For an illusion it certainly is life-like. How impressive…”

Loki released her wrists as if they’d burned him, staggering back until they were too far apart to touch. Red eyes locked on her face, lips trembling slightly. His strange appearance melted away until he wore his normal form once more. When he spoke, he hardly opened his mouth, the words so quiet that Eir had to strain to hear them.

“There is no trick. It is simply who I am.”

_What?_

The moisture fled from Eir’s mouth. She swallowed and licked at her lips, but nothing could counter the awful sensation. “But how…?”

“Let’s just say that I was adopted,” he said shortly. He grabbed the book he’d been reading before she’d come in and sat down stiffly at the table. “I think you should leave now. Good night.”

“But―”

“I said, _good night._ ” He didn’t looking up from the book, his eyes flying across the page, though his hands shook.

_Oh no; not this time, my Lord._

She approached him and folded her arms over her chest. He finally looked up, unable to ignore her any longer.

“What do you want,” he snapped.

“The truth,” Eir answered, kneeling to sit on the floor before him. She was determined to get her answer, no matter what. She sunk the rest of the way to the floor and crossed her legs beneath her grey dress.

“And who are you to demand the truth?” He closed the book and leaned towards her. “It matters not. If it will satisfy your curiosity enough to leave me in peace, then I will tell you. To make a long story short: Odin found me on Jotunheim, where my real father left me to die. He was so _righteous_ and _good_ , that he brought me here and made me his son. He just _happened_ to forget to mention the truth of who I am, but that’s only a minor detail, I’m sure.” Loki’s expression soured, a razor-edged smirk marring his face. “And so you have it—the story of the _monster_ before you.”

“Stop! Stop calling yourself a monster. Actions, not origins, create monsters,” Eir said furiously.

“Oh? But so often beginnings are to blame for later mistakes, don’t you agree? Besides you’ve called me a monster yourself. Don’t bother to deny it; I know the truth. But perhaps you only mean to say that you still intend to visit me.” His voice was cold and arrogant; Eir bristled at his tone and the accusations he flung at her.

“Yes. Yes, I _will_ come. But you’re wrong; being a Frost Giant doesn’t make you a monster in my eyes. If…If I must have a reason to call you monster, then I need only remind you of your behavior on Midgard. But, even then, somehow I’m sure that you’re not as bad as you’d like me to believe.”

He didn’t respond, only staring at her without expression, as if he tried to read her thoughts. She met his gaze squarely, trying to prove that she’d been completely honest. Her heart and mind raced, but she was determined not to show her nervousness.

After a time, Loki sighed and dropped his gaze to rub at his temples. He didn’t admit it, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe her. No one could ever think of him as anything but a monster. She was only pretending…

“Go, Lady Eir.” It was still a command, but something in his tone had softened. He couldn’t help it; even if he tried to be cold and distant, he melted under her defiant gaze, like ice turning to water in the sun. “It’s too late for a Lady to be in such places.”

She nodded and stood slowly, as if she contemplated an important decision. Abruptly, she leaned down and planted a kiss on his cheek, holding her hair back as she did.

“Good night, Prince Loki,” she said quietly.

Before he could react, she left the room red-faced. Loki touched his cheek with an inscrutable expression.

 

_What an innocent, stupid female she was…_


End file.
